Penguins are for Girls.

Pretty much awesome, and sad, all together.

Curious...A client that I'm designing a vehicle wrap for, who owns, let's say an ice company, liked the motif of "Superman-styled ice castles and icebergs", but the regal-looking penguins that I spec-d out  were too ''kid'' or ''zoo-like.''  Rather, ''something like more masculine polar bears'' would be more befitting, he suggested.  Was he actually trying to say penguins are for girls? I think he was! Can you place a gender weight on arctic animals?  It is true, they're adorable, all of them. However, upon my illustration reference search to appease the client, I came across this bad boy (photo left).  Before I clicked on the full image, I thought ''My GOD is that a gigantic, gutted crocodile!?" (notice from afar the ripped-to-pieces bone structure that looks like a reptilian mouth opening) ......
Seriously, in the arctic circle, bigger than a polar bear (I get excited about over sized reptiles)...Yeeeah.

That is a sperm whale carcass.  So I guess this photo shrieks masculinity? With that estimate, are blood, guts and carnal instincts aligned with the male gender? Masculinity?  Why?  Why is it more primal for a man to like, seek out, be aligned with blood, hunting, eating, and the like?   In nature, especially with regards to the Antarctic penguins (see: March of the Penguins, 2005, dir. Luc Jaquet), the human-stereotyped gender roles are reversed, which I believe makes for the extra dramatic impact that this film offered to movie-goers.  The males stayed home to babysit, while the mothers trekked across the continent in search of food and hope (seriously, *gasp*).  There is nothing more powerful, or majestic, than the plot line that follows the reality of the Emperor Penguin of Antarctica's life cycle:  lay eggs, Dad sits on eggs, Mom walks 70 miles across hilly ice in search of food to stuff her face with, against all odds, only to return to vomit it into her child's (who's birth she did not witness because she was busy working) mouth.  And, scene.

In summary, I love penguins.  They have perma-tuxes.  They make great subjects for cartoons, movies, and cuteoverload.com content. They are more resilient than almost every animal that comes to mind.  They are members of the bird family, which apparently makes certain men who align with their perception of masculinity (polar bears = greater and more dude-like than birds) feel funny, or less manly....Or maybe it was my "girly" illustration?

 Leonard Cohen's ''March of the Penguins''

Happy Birthday Meems.

Allene Holland, 1921-2011.

Yesterday would have been my beloved grandmother's 90th birthday.  She passed away this winter in her home, near Mom and Dad's home, in Denton, Texas.  She was the main reason I ever returned to my hometown to visit.  For the hell of it, I "Googled" her name. I found her obituary in the Galveston  County Daily News, and the Denton Record Chronicle.  I wish I could have written it instead.

So much information left out.  So many wonderful details about her that a stranger would never know.  

It failed to mention her incredible beauty, wonderful chef skills, and mean margarita-making abilities.  So much of obituaries in general place the focus on the survivors of the deceased, which I find the strangest.  

Her family members had some of the best names including Rennie Bell, Ozell, Frances, and Rufus Redden.  I believe she was the second oldest of a clan of nine children, yet had to experience at least five of them pass away before her...younger siblings.

At the funeral, I realized after a few minutes that I was literally standing on my grandfather.  The ground was covered with faux green turf, folding chairs, and buckets of flowers.  Upon this realization, the tears fell faster.  They are buried side-by-side.  The obituary cannot convey how truly romantic they once were.    

Allene Edwards Holland

DENTON — Allene Edwards Holland, 89, of Denton passed away Friday, January 7, 2011, in Denton. She was born October 12, 1921, in Murchison, Texas to Rufus Redden Edwards and Rennie Belle McClain Edwards. She married Walter F. Holland on January 5, 1940, in Murchison. He preceded her in death. She and her husband owned Holland’s Furniture and Appliance in Texas City.

She was a 50- plus year member of Eastern Star, Presbyterian Women’s Circle, YMCA, Palestine and a member of the First United Methodist Church in Denton. She was active in bowling and volleyball in Palestine and hand stitched many quilts and afghans for each of her four daughters and each grandchild.

Graveside service will be Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 11:00 a.m. at Oaklawn Memorial Park in Athens.

She is survived by her daughters, Ginger Evans, Wanda Nicholas and husband Don of Houston, Freda Hutchins and husband Jerry of Denton, Francine Holland of Fort Worth; 9 grandchildren and 17 great grandchildren; brothers, Joe Edwards of Rockwall, Rhonnie Edwards of Murchison and Gaylon Edwards of LaRue. She is preceded in death by her parents, husband, brothers, Darrel Edwards, Ozell Edwards and Frances Edwards, sisters, Glenda Chambers and Margie Harper.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to First United Methodist Church, 201 S. Locust, Denton, Texas 76201 or Sterling House on the Parkway, 2525 Lillian Miller, Denton, Texas 76210.

Bill DeBerry Funeral Directors

(940)383-4200

Published January 9, 2011

October 13: Whatever You Do...Don't Let Them In.

THE STRANGERS (Bryan Bertino 2008)

Liv Tyler eating Bluebell? Nawwww...

Admittedly, I am biased.  One of my best friends from college made this film, however with all bias aside I must still proclaim:  The Strangers scared the shit out of me.  Pure and Simple.  This is a real horror film.

This film contains painfully thoughtful cinematic techniques which prove to lend a helping hand to a new, popular, horror flick sub-genre appropriately labeled ''Torture Porn.'' Made most popular by Eli Roth in 2005 with Hostel, this genre has steadily gained massive headway with viewers perhaps because of its grizzly and dehumanizing characteristics of its anti-hero roles. In order to deal with witnessing a grown man saw his way through his own handcuffed leg,  one must appreciate those little niblets of off-setting comedy, if any.  The mere theme of Americans paying top-dollar to axe off sorority/fraternity coeds makes me chuckle, doesn't it you?

No such luck with Bertino's first horror masterpiece.  Anxiety and panic immediately take over after the first, ominous ''door-knock.'' 

Bertino directs his cast in its sole, ranch house location.

A bitter sweetened couple make their way to a summer home in the middle of nowhere, Anytown, USA after a night of an apparent wedding celebration.  Food, shelter, guns and ammo...running water, running shoes, and cell phones...nothing can prepare them for the hell they have inadvertently stepped into.  Just when they thought their relationship problems would serve as the low point of their evening, a stranger comes knocking...loudly...and. won't. stop.

For marketing purposes, this film boasts that it was ''based on true events.''  That is arguable, however, some of the actual events and motivations behind the masks do parallel to a heinously notorious crime committed by the infamous Manson gang in the 1960's in Los Angeles, California.

The Strangers provides for art house cinema buffs what Halloween has provided to horror movie cultists which includes extremely dramatic long takes and extreme long shots of impending doom, without the cheese and trite dialogue.  Liv Tyler plays a role that is quite believable, albeit annoying at times as with any scream queen, alongside seriously underrated Scott Speedman (Underworld, Adoration).

The final scene is superior to most in regards to its starkness.  A sequel is rumored, but development and production, so far, come unannounced.  I am predicting a brief cameo with Tyler and a mass-murder hospital sequence...but don't take my word for it.  Be patient, sit quietly, and for the love of God don't answer to a girl who asks for ''Tamara.'' 

Originally written for a Texas-filmed location, The Strangers was filmed in South Carolina.  Tomandandy provide the eerie score (Mothman Prophecies, Sleep Dealer).

October 9 - Double Feature

Rainy Sunday! The most rain in half a year in Austin, Texas.  The Ice Queens are closed in order to celebrate a wonderful night for films about head games:

The original blurred face or horror.

 JACOB'S LADDER (Adriane Lyne 1990)

One of my top ten genre films of all time: Jacob's Ladder. 

This movie continues to hold its own in many a horror critics view as one the top ten of any genre list should and by that they mean it's still truly horrifying. I remember some video stores in the 90's putting it in the drama or even sci-fi section of the store. I would go up to the counter to rent it for the tenth time and say, "You know this is a horror film, right?" Which i realized was a stupid question since, they obviously didn't know or care. I felt I had the right to bring it up because I, too, was an asshole high school student who worked in a movie theater.

In case you have never seen this one, maybe because you thought Adriane Lyne only directs soft-core Mickey Rourke movies, it contains some genuinely thoughtful drama amidst all of its scary evil.  Jacob Singer, a veteran of the Vietnam war, cannot distinguish what reality he lives, who his woman is and whether or not he hallucinates. Other members of his former platoon reluctantly participate in conversations about their common experiences...because they are frightened to death.
A particularly frightening cinematography and editing technique makes this film unforgettable, and I won't spoil it for you, that continues to leave horror movie-goers squirming and shrieking in
their seats.

Macaulay Culkin and Elizabeth Peña also star in this film, alongside Tim Robbins playing the lead. Beautifully shot by Jeffrey Kimball, who did not film Lyne's other successes, who has allowed me to add this movie to my favorite Vietnam-era films as well.  Sadly, this film perhaps contributed to the now defunct Carolco Studios who's resume includes the production of classics Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Total Recall, and Basic Instinct. It ultimately grossed just over $1 million over budget including VHS/DVD sales.

Note the similarity

THE JACKET (John Mabury 2005)

Intentionally with regards to the spirit of Jacob's Ladder comes The Jacket.  Both sleepers films,  although its cast of Adrien Brody, Keira Knightley, Kris Kristofferson, and Jennifer Jason Leigh bring full star power.

The lead played by Brody, also war Veteran, stumbles into wrongful justice and is sent to a hospital for the criminally insane where he there becomes subject to abusive sensory deprivation techniques by the asylum's Doctor, played by Kristofferson.  In case you were wondering, he continues to dominate the hell out of the crusty, mean guy persona.

The events that take place while under the influence of 'the jacket' throw Brody's character into an alternate reality state where he can mentally project himself into the future in order to recount what has happened to him in the past. Sharp acting, extremely fresh plot, and like Jacob's Ladder, pulls at the heartstrings.

Look for a bonus Mackenzie Phillips  brief and sinister appearance as one of the asylum's nurses.
Watching both of these films back-to-back will ensure a night of well-written mental trips for
their viewers.

October 8 - Double Feature

FRIGHT NIGHT (Tom Holland 1985) vs. PROM NIGHT  (Peter Lynch 1980)

Click to enlarge Murray's Review!

I love VHS covers. Especially well made VHS covers.  Remember the interactive feature on the front of Frankenhooker (Frank Henenlotter 1990), that when prompted by the relief-textured button, the hooker would say ''Wanna Date!?''  I squealed like a little girl and pressed repeatedly, when I noticed it on the shelf at "Payless Video" in Denton, Texas circa 1990.  

*Note:  Frankenhooker, by the way ladies, is a fantastic and cheap, last-minute, timeless Halloween costume, merely requiring a purple Bettie Page-cut wig, bra, and tube-mini-skirt.

In the same vein, as an avid horror movie VHS renter at Payless Video in Denton, Texas, I loved the cover art for Tom Holland's Fright Night, starring Chris Sarandon and now-outed lezbo Amanda Bearse, playing the character appropriately named "Amy."

Although Fright Night can be categorized as a humorous vampire horror, do not discount its elements of horror and makeup mastery provided by expert Richard Edlund and lead actor Sarandon's sultry and witty at times vampiric performance.  The film tells the comical story of a teen boy's questionable new neighbors, two, male vampires of course, and his obsession with making his skeptical closest friends believe his tall tale.  Only Roddy McDowell's character as "Peter Vincent," who plays within the picture on a small network B-movie program, can save the clan from the ambiguously gay duo! 

When I was ten, I realized about sixty minutes in why there was a Ghostbusters-stylized ghost on the VHS cover...and it haunted my dreams for years. Having a mouth full of saliva-covered teeth, stretching from ear-to-ear is an extremely efficient visual for inducing nightmares, regardless of the comical overall plot to this 80's classic:

Scroll to 2:40

Everyone loves the "Scream Queen.''  We can thank John Carpenter for many things, but safe to say that he is directly responsible for the success of Jamie Lee Curtis's staggering horror movie career.  This is not to say however that any part of Prom Night should be listed amongst those successes, for this movie is one of the sloppiest plot-driven masked-murderer films of the decade.  Aside from an incredible awesome-bad disco-off between Jamie Lee Curtis's character "Kim" and her date, a sexy Kim Catrall look-alike named Eddie Benton a.k.a. Anne-Marie Martin (former wife of deceased Michael Crichton), and a pretty gnarly decapitation sequence, Prom Night yields nothing but embarrassing cheese, loosely written side characters, laughable voice over and massive yawns.  Still...there lies a soft spot in my heart for all things JLC.  Leslie Neilsen, RIP, also ''stars'' in this classic VHS rental, also with a wonderful cover featuring the queen herself. *Spoiler Alert:* This cover is entirely misleading.

Twenty-eight years later saw its remake with the same title, directed by TV drama man Nelson McCormick.  I am willing to bet that regardless of its cast of no-name twenty-somethings, the newer version  most likely provides at least a small percentage of elements of surprise, comedy, and/or suspense...or maybe not? Haven't seen it just yet but ultimately, I plea no contest in the comparison to Fright Night...they just simply share half of the same title.  Prom Night fascinated me because the importance of this annual High School event carried little to zero importance to myself and my peers when we were going through those teenage motions.  Still, the genre is wide-open and any subject matter goes.  "One-star" fun.

Good Golly, Miss Dolly!

Courtesy of Dolly Records, 2011.

No, actually, I didn't know that Dolly Parton could play at least nine different instruments, without missing a beat for a solid two-and-a-half hour showcase.
Happy Birthday to ME!
Last night's Cedar Park Center concert, regardless of the tight seat rows and eleven dollar frozen corn syrup drinks, proved that age 65, Dolly isn't slowing down anytime soon. 

Aside from the wonderful emotional turmoil she put me through, choosing to sing "Precious Memories" (a cappella) and "Coat of Many Colors" back-to-back, I honestly couldn't stop staring at her wonderfully petite knees and legs.  She donned professional ballroom dancing six-inch tan-colored heels.  In the middle of the second set to my humongous surprise, she busted right out in full shimmy, red sequins and fringe flying, covering the legendary Ike & Tina's "River Deep, Mountain High.''

Smokey Mountain anecdotes about her ''Mamma and Daddy'' allowed for some tear-shedding and reflection, followed by a quick preview of some of her upcoming releases on "Better Day'' and original soundtrack recordings for Warner Bros upcoming gospel comedy "Joyful  Noise", which will feature a duet with Queen Latifah no doubt.  Diva overload!

To wrap up the rhinestone-ladened evening, Dolly jokingly made no concessions  in regards to Whitney Houston's enormously successful cover of Parton's Porter Wagner-days chart topper, "I Will Always Love You.''  The original proved to still reign supreme. She did, however, mention that she "loved Whitney Houston,'' for the record.

 Dolly Performs ''Coat of Many Colors''